1. |
Crickets
02:30
|
|||
|
I jinxed every moment spent
trying to be okay with myself when I left.
Your car idling sounded like crickets
from a distance.
The night before you tried to kill yourself
I had a dream that you did.
And the next morning ODing on pills and alcohol
you called, slurring bad.
I realized we must all wanna die most all the time.
And racing to the hospital
was the only moment I ever knew
I couldn't swerve off the road just yet.
Not until I had seen you in that hospital bed.
I wanted to trade places with you.
And your car idling sounded like
crickets from a distance.
|
||||
2. |
My Old School
01:39
|
|||
|
Loose lips leak out and over onto grass cut fresh.
Aimless, you'll never find this part of me again.
And I'll miss the facades of eloquence in replace of wit.
We'll reminisce about all those kids we used to hate.
Everything seems empty.
But I guess we already knew that
when we were running away.
But every night I'm still with everyone that I've ever loved,
or when I close my eyes to shield them from the sun above.
I'll never know what it's like to be fully alive
if I treat present as past pages and keep getting lost in time.
Shiftless and restless, they act like it’s their first kiss.
Reckless in our acts and a recluse when they fail.
You whisper something that rings close to a consequence,
“This is the last time we’ll all be together like this."
I’m never gonna go back
to my old school.
|
||||
3. |
Stay Afloat
02:06
|
|||
|
I said everything that I had to say
by the time I was 18 and now I’m
just treading water trying to stay afloat
and tearing down everybody else’s lifeboat.
I miss the feeling of wanting to
fall in love and the quiet warmth of girl’s dorm rooms
put together like a well lit womb;
a safe place to discover or smoother each other in.
I liked wondering how your skin felt under
your shirt now I don’t want to touch anyone
let alone myself.
It’s more than just wanting to be someone else.
I said everything that I had to say
the time that we last spoke and now I’m
justing spitting bullshit trying to peak interest
and keeping tabs on your reactionlessness.
It’s easy to lose track of friends when your
not counting or amounting to anything less
than forgiveness, with a real chance
of skirting everyone that you speed pass.
The meaningful things will come to me
when I’m biking home feeling alone and empty.
I’ll get the urge to call you
but we’ve both seen what that kind of thinking can do,
and you would only act like you already knew.
I said everything that I had to say
by the time I was 18 and now I’m
just treading water trying to stay afloat
and tearing down anyone who drifts too close.
|
||||
4. |
DeKalb
02:30
|
|||
|
I took a new bike route today. It's calmer and safer
than the one I used before. And no one's face
flashed before mine when that cab took me by surprise.
And I think I like that: this feeling of consequence.
We used to feel more alive the closer to death.
But now it just feels empty and tedious.
I was a new person today. I forgot all my mistakes
that made me who I was before. And I guess we're just
trading all our burnt out parts in exchange for
a slighted premise: a promise of longevity.
We used to think we held the only reflections.
But now you're eyes are cast low and you talk so slow.
You find that you find yourself in everything.
Is that why you can't stand anything?
|
||||
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